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Gas Braais

Baby boomers, as the marketing fools like to call all close-but-not-quite-dead-yet people, think gas braais are kak. For the most part their kids do too. But THEIR kids (don't blame me, the language is inherently ambiguous) have fully embraced the [outdoor] cooking with gas lifestyle.

Millennials, being lazy and impatient, were never really going to get the sitting around the braai killing time vibe, for them eating seems to be a means to an end. Exactly what the end [ever] is remains a mystery to everyone including the millennial.

The point is, gas braais have arrived. And bizarrely, the millennials are right. Gas braais are super quick and super convenient. Of course this does still conflict with the reason the baby boomer braais in the first place which has more to do with brandy than with haute cuisine, so there's that. But what do they know anyway?

Gas braais are as clean as Ghandi's soul to operate, so now you can braai INDOORS with only minimal degradation in your already tenuous relationship with your much more likable significant other.

A really important but routinely overlooked fact about gas braais, is that little Bubba can start the braai on his way back from fetching you a cold one from the 'fridgerator, braaing starts when the the grill sears the first slab of steak, and not a moment before then. Only an drunktard arsonist let's their kids start the charcoal BBQ.

You can adjust the temperature on a gas braai, so no more eating charcoal flavoured smoked chicken because the friggin thing takes so long to cook on the braai that the coals died before the chicken did. And being the young woodchuck you are you threw the rest of the bag of (only once rained on) charcoal to save the day. Who cooks white meat on the braai anyway?

There's a fast food brand that's built their whole value proposition on delivering flame grilled food, because it just tastes better. I've never seen 'em whip out a 50Kg bag of fresh naturally roasted premium Mozambican charcoal to get the party started. Gas bitches, just saying.

There's really two approaches to braaing, one is to beat your hunger into subjugation with alcohol and then eat whatever remains and the other is to delight your senses with good food. If you find yourself in the second camp you might value the speed advantage a gas braai offers. If your starch is done before your meat is done you're not cooking with gas.

Oh and when your charcoal got wet because Brandy (of this 🍾 variety not the 💃🏻 kind) played such a dominant role in the last braai session, good luck getting the braai started. These are luddite problems, you're better than that.

It's time we relegated charcoal to where it belongs, lining the isles of self help seminars all over the world teaching you that you too can walk across hot embers because mind over matter and all that.

Gas braais, more of our Get it done right, get it done right now™you're welcome.

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